My life update.

Hi, this is me again, it’s February 19th of 2019,four days to my country’s presidential election (Nigeria) after it has been postponed from the previous Saturday.

People getting anxious, excited, angry, hopeful, hopeless and all kinds of emotions, as it is usual when it comes to such matters, they believe (correctly) that the president of their country has influence over their lives, although the level of positive influence such office holders have on their lives is largely overestimated.

But not me, I may be subconsciously bias to a particular candidate, but that’s all about it, I don’t give a damn who becomes president or whatever, no single president or high level government official will pick me out of the crowd to grant me all of my life wishes and hopes, NO ONE CAN HAND YOU LONG TERM SUCCESS FOR FREE, more accurately,no one can hand you real success, you have to get off your butt and start raising your hand and voice and working like your life depended on it( your life truly depends on it).

I’ve moved leaps and bounds towards my dream life, the last seven days brought me closer to my freedom, my finances got a huge boost, thanks to my boss and uncle, I have to remind myself to keep my head down and stick with principle, I can’t let myself get soft.

My body got better than it was the last Tuesday I have been taking a very close look at my body a long time ago, and some of the things I’ve learnt about your physique is that once you have put in the work and sculpted your body well, you can dial back the hardwork a bit and make the routine a little bit less intense and you’ll still be fine.

I’m hopeful about the future and the promise it holds.

Peace!!

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You will never be as powerful as you wish..

We all crave power,we all need power,. Power comes in different forms, the lack of power over one’s environment often causes anxiety and a feeling of helplessness.

We all fight and play for power over circumstances and our fellow man, even infants fight for power, I’m sure you’ve seen a child cry at his mother in order to get something he wants, that’s his little way of playing for power, seems like the urge for power is built into our DNA.

Never trust anyone,man or woman, old or young who claims to not desire to have power over their circumstances, their claims of indifference to power is most likely an attempt to lure you to sleep while they work quietly to gain ultimate power over you.

Know and keep it in mind that there’s no one in your life that doesn’t desire to have power over you in one form or the other, this includes your parents, ageing or not. And even your beloved kids.

It is indeed a wise and necessary move to work consciously and painstakingly to have as much as possible power and control over your life and circumstances, you would be very foolish to act otherwise just make sure to accept and get over with the fact that you will never be as powerful as you wish, even if you were to become the ruler of all the world, which is almost impossible, there still will be issues that you won’t be contented with and won’t have the power to control it.

The acceptance of this simple fact will save you from lots of suffering and headaches, your duty is to find a balance in mindset, you don’t want to have a mindset of helplessness, never, because a lot of things are under your control and influence, but you don’t want to fool yourself into thinking you are immortal and invincible, you have an infinite number of limits and tricking yourself into thinking you are a god is an effective way to send yourself into a wild goose chase for life and it will make your downfall and eventual crash much more loud and destructive.

Peace!!

My life update.

Hi, it’s good to be here again after 7days of graceful living, got everything to be thankful for, I’m not religious at all and I never believed in the books and words of God some people sell and push so hard on people, I don’t know who to give thanks to for this great gift of life but I feel grateful nevertheless,so my thanks go to whatever gods that claim it.

  • Authority freedom; Life has always been ironic to me and sometimes really ridiculous in that most of the time to get to the place you want to be, you have to stay where you don’t want to be for long periods. I fucking hate authority, if you asked me what career I’m passionate about,it’s simply that career that I don’t have a boss. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy doing a job where I have to report to someone on a daily basis no matter how much money I earn.

Isn’t it counterintuitive that I am willing doing that which I deeply loathe when I have the option of not doing so?… Muhammad Ali is credited with the quote “I hated every single minute of training, but I said to myself don’t quit, suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion”.

Now that’s wisdom, I ask myself, am I the only one who would prefer to not call another man his boss? The answer is no, actually almost every man alive would rather not have a boss,. Why then do the vast majority of men have bosses? Because it isn’t easy to be self employed, it requires hardwork, discipline, intelligence, ability, patience and time, I see, no wonder few men thread this path, did I mention the absence of financial security that a job would offer?. To get what another man don’t have you have to be willing to do what another man won’t do…

  • Financial freedom; great, I was able to save 45% of my income for this period, it’s progress and I’m excited about it,it wasn’t easy for me to do but it’s rewarding for me looking back now and I have a renewed feeling of self confidence. Funny thing is I’m just as fine as when I used to spend my money lavishly and carelessly, I have to really master my spending habits or it may be difficult to achieve freedom from financial worry.
  • Great body; really good, I’m starting to feel more full in my chest and arms and it’s really cool.

I didn’t really workout that much but I improved my diet, I ate more food,home cooked food and I ate less junk food,. And what’s really exciting, I have just created a mini gym for myself in a odd place where I can do early morning pull-ups before anyone wakes up, now I can add pull-ups to my routine ( I have been doing push-ups only, for the last 7 months,,,,shit)

So that’s it, 7 more days gone out of my time on this earth. Never forget, whatever you’re doing,no matter what you’re getting, no matter how you’re feeling, life doesn’t care. It will run its course regardless of your decision to appreciate your life or not, never forget that.

Peace!!

Decision is very important!!

This is coming from a guy who is very indecisive and hesitant, I can comfortably spend years weighing the pros and cons of a decision. And it does get really frustrating at times, it’s likely because I am a type of person who balances the cause and effect as well as the cost and rewards, and I still think it is wise instinct, it has kept me out of needless trouble throughout the years. And I thank whatever gods that gave me such keen spirit.

But this does have its downsides, and the biggest is an inherent lack of confidence, you would think going back and forth over a single subject will instill a deep sense of confidence and certainty in the mind of the introspective man, but plenty of times the reverse is the case and I have caught myself going down this black hole of useless brainstorming and indecisiveness.

The biggest purpose of me creating this blog is sharing with you introvert how to become a strong, respected, capable and successful individual “winning with silence” as I call it, I wish to urge you against pretending to be what you’re not ( most likely pretending to be an extrovert). It is tempting to want to imitate the extrovert and run away from who you are, I suspect that you have attempted this, I certainly have, and it didn’t work,it proved to be counterproductive and and I felt like a fake, and it’s this feeling of being a fraud that I couldn’t live with.

Fortunately, I didn’t go too far into the journey of erasing my natural strengths and nature given capabilities, but these are stories for another day,…. getting back on track with the purpose of this article;

The ability to make swift and sound decisions is an essential quality of a leader in fact you won’t find any great leader who is constantly indecisive, if there’s one, he has lost his followers or soon will, so no matter your personality, decisiveness is required for leadership position.

But on top of that, I have never met a man more attractive than a calm, quiet and cool man who can take quick carefully thought decisions in a confident and timely manner, trust me, such a man is hard to beat.

Even though a lot of times I still struggle with trusting my judgement or even making any judgement.

Let me now tell you what it feels like when I make a decision, I mean when my mind zeroes itself and turns its tunnel vision on and refuses to the see possibility of alternative options, something wonderful happens, something very difficult to put down in words, except that a feeling of life comes down upon me, I suspect that the spirit of my ancestors gaze down to give their nod of approval, it becomes impossible for me to acknowledge limits and I feel clarity in my soul.

Where there is a will there is a way, and I’m even positive that when you make a decision life itself conspires to make it happen.

Let me give you a short story; I met a new girl not too long ago, I wasn’t infatuated with her not specially attracted to her in any special way, I just wanted to have fun with her and I was in need of female companionship and validation, this girl got into the habit of demanding for money from me which is what always happens when you act needy with a woman, I acquiesced to her demands a couple of time but I knew deep inside that this was not who I was, I am not going to be buying the affection of a woman.

Anyway, she really got into this habit and didn’t hesitate to ask just like it was her right, about the fourth time of her bold demands of my hard earned money then without me really thinking about it before, my mind made the decision itself, I am not giving this chick a dime, not that I really wanted to lose her or hurt her feelings or make any point my mind just made a decision on my behalf and the message was passed across to every single part of me, and it didn’t matter if she would call it quits right then and there, now the interesting part of this story was that I normally would have been thinking of the appropriate action I should take or excuses I needed to make, it wasn’t so this time, I didn’t need to think of any action nor excuse, I have made the decision that would not change and that was all that mattered.

This story in itself is irrelevant, the point of note is that when I made the decision, what I needed to do was perfectly clear and simple, and that is pretty much what happens every time you make a decision from deep inside your heart, the steps you need to take become absolutely clear, what we need to do to get to where we want to get to in life are very clear simple and definite, just that we haven’t made the decision to get there, Time, difficulty, resistance, and setbacks means nothing. The decision is all that matters.

Peace!!

Body language tips!!

I promised to make a post about body language in one of my last posts. Body language is more important in your life than most of the things you’ve been putting effort to.

I learnt and started practicing better body language about six years ago, and the journey was damn tough and rough, there were times was ridiculed by people close to me who couldn’t understand what I was up to and I don’t really blame them because looking back I can see the numerous mistakes I made. But the story of my struggle with getting my body language right is a story for another day, and it will be a very fun story.

Right now I’m still perfecting this skill and I can still see guys who naturally have better language, but I can proudly say I’ve achieved huge success in terms of my body language.

How do I know this?, I know because virtually everyone I meet, even older guys show me respect, some even show deference.

I’m more attractive to the opposite sex now, I know this because I know, and when you’re more attractive to a lot more females too, you’ll know.

I feel more comfortable and confident in myself, I feel stronger and less stressed. I think I have also gotten taller at a faster rate than I would have gotten. I used to be the shortest among my siblings and we used to joke about it, but dramatically I’m the tallest now.

Now,i am not saying body language improvement will make you taller, it just seems so in my case and I’m very positive it helped.

Now let’s go through my guide for achieving a body language that’ll make you look strong and confident.

I can sense different types of attractive body languages but I’ll like to call mine,the ‘Authority figure’ body language. Here are the tips from head to feet in that order.

  • Imagine that a book is placed on your head and you don’t want it falling. And imagine that a rope is tied to the upper back side of your head and pulling your head upwards, the ideal posture of your head is making your chin tilt slightly upwards. Take a look at Dolph Lundgren’s head posture to get a clearer picture.
  • Your neck should be straight, not bent at all, just straight up like a column supporting your head, rest your back on the wall and have someone look at the position of your neck, your neck should almost be touching the wall, one trick I can recommend is to always sleep without pillow and sleep with your back on the mattress. You can straighten your neck with this simple practice.
  • Your shoulders should be a little bit raised up,drawn back and at the same time relaxed. Don’t make the mistake of raising your shoulders too high or drawing it back too much.
  • Your chest should be wide like a board , and you should imagine that your chest is a TV screen for people in front of you to watch.
  • Your arms should be very very relaxed, depending on the size of your biceps, then you roll your arms inward slightly like you want your triceps to show from your sides instead of from your back. Remember to relax your arms as much as possible and your fingers should be open and relaxed like they are not part of your body.
  • Your spine must be straight, however, you should arch your upper back slightly and tuck in your lower abdomen. This may seem hard at first but keep trying and you’ll soon master it.
  • Your knees must be straight, not Bent in any way, you want the weight coming from your upper body to pass smoothly to your feet, if is at the knees you’ll transfer this load.
  • Your feet, Your feet serves to transmit the load of your body to the ground not to carry it, if your legs are carrying weight,it means you have refused to keep one of the members mentioned above straight, you’ll keep your two legs comfortable and spaced widely apart, and stand in such a way that it’ll be hard for someone to push you. And keep the mindset that you are in full control of your feet. It’s technical and hard to explain but I’ll try, I assume that my feet is a standing army stationed at where it is currently and I’m the commander, so I must issue a command before it moves, now I might move due to order from someone else, but I must still receive and pass the order before I move, this way I keep myself grounded and firm.

Make sure you ask questions on what you don’t immediately understand in order to make your journey faster and less embarrassing than mine, but it’s more than worth it anyway and I thank myself for doing this despite the ridicule in the beginning.

Peace!!

Unconventional theory and logic; Life is war.

I have an insight that I believe to be true and fun (not so fun I know) but true nevertheless. So let’s get to it.

All of life is war, not figuratively like people use it, I mean actual, brutal war for survival. What everyone is doing every waking moment is trying to thrive while avoiding getting killed. This will be obvious to you if you take a look at the animal kingdom and see the way they interact.

I’ve read a quote that said “Every morning in Africa,a lion wakes up and knows that if it is to survive the day it must be faster than the slowest gazelle, and each gazelle wakes up and knows that it has to be faster than the fastest lion if it must live, so whether you’re a lion or a gazelle, when the dawn breaks you better start running”.

Now, in the life of war that you and I live, battles break out frequently, from two people fighting with each other to street fights to actual world wars, my believe is, we’re actually in war and the world wars are actually the few notable battles amidst the war. But under the surface is chaos and hell bubbling only held back by tons of effort, yes, it takes tons of money, appeasement and dialogue to keep a destructive world war from occurring everyday.

So basically in my view,we are all soldiers, every single one of us we are all soldier boys in this constant unceasing war, that’s my theory. But in reality, we actually are soldiers, it’s just not obvious to you because you’re not living in a barrack and training for war, men have been deployed forcefully against their will throughout history.I read in history of world war 2 that there was a point that Hitler got so panicky that he declared total war and deployed every man, woman and child. EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD.

Being in war, all of us are soldiers but different people fall into different categories of soldiers based on their mental strength and consciousness of reality.

  • The escapist soldier: This type of people are generally delusional, they are not even aware of what life really is, this is either because they’ve been sheltered from birth from any sort of violence or “injustice” or they’re just too compliant and avoidant of confrontation or conflict that another man never had to use force on them before they give up their ground. this type of people won’t even understand this article at all let alone argue it’s logic. He is still a soldier, whether he admits it or knows it or not.He is a thoroughly ineffective soldier and man.
  • The resigned soldier: resigned in the sense that he has accepted and submitted to the fact that he’s at some kind of war and he is fighting for survival too, he is very scared and displeased with this unpleasant fact, and closes his eyes to bitter truths most of the time.

He has developed some strength due to his acknowledgement of the situation, however his mental strength is severely hampered by his refusal to remove the screen with which he filters reality. To him,the world can be nasty at times but generally the world is friendly and people are sweet. How wrong could he be!!!

  • The warrior: This is the man, he’s the calm and collected man you saw moving slowly and powerfully, that you couldn’t help but stay out of his way even though he didn’t force you to. He observes the world, he sees the joy, he sees the pleasure,he sees the smiles and hears the flatteries, he notices all these and keeps it in his mind that it is all temporary and the only permanent and constant factor is conflict, couldn’t be another way as long as each man has will and desires, struggle will never cease.

The warrior watches the violence, chaos and cruelty and smirks, not because he loves it more than the average man,but because he knows that the violence and unrest is actually the reality and a wise man doesn’t argue with reality.

The warrior’s gun is always loaded, the warrior’s hands are always poised to curl into fists at a second’s notice, the warrior knows ten different ways to survive an attack at any moment because he’s been expecting it all the while, he doesn’t outsource his survival and safety to another man.

It is this preparedness and readiness and gameness that forges the warrior to the rock he is. Day in day out he works and dedicates his mind to getting stronger and better and putting his feet in stabler grounds.

He doesn’t share in any of your feel good fantasy and dreams, he might join you in the laughter and joking around occasionally but deep inside is a horde of fury ready to be deployed at any moment.

Go ahead and check around wherever you will and tell me if you’ve seen peace without power? If you think you have, check very well you’ll find a standing army properly stacked somewhere, steady,ready to deploy and unleash hell. Do you think you know more of the world and ways of men than Winston Churchill when he said ” Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory no matter how long and hard the road may be, for without victory there’s no survival” ?

You can live your life anyway you want, you can decide to bury your head in the sand and plug an earmuff into your ears lest you ear the cry of terror, I understand terror is terrifying, sweet music sounds better and it’s more effective for getting you to sleep. But make sure to not have a contrary opinion to other people and quickly hand over to them your tunic, your woman, your life and every remainder of your honor when they come asking for it.

But then life( the war) still continues despite your inglorious exit.

My-life update.

Yeah, it’s been seven days now and I’m finding it more interesting to write these updates, and apart from the likelihood of this update motivating someone and letting them know that they’re not so alone in the struggle, it helps me too by serving as a kind of journal which I can refer to at later times (I don’t seem to be good at keeping an actual journal).

It also keeps me dedicated and disciplined, and it is my little way of sharing my insights and wisdom to the world, what better way exists to share a success story than a real world tell-as-it-happens journal?.

  • Authority freedom; This is the biggest single pain- point in my life, I hate being told what to do, and I will always hate it no matter what, although, I strongly believe that you shouldn’t allow anything to give you constant unhappiness, and I live by that rule, but being not unhappy is not the same thing with being happy, you can be not unhappy and still not be happy. So whichever way, I’m going to achieve authority freedom,that is ” no one constantly tells me what I must do”, I want to eat, work, sleep,go out, take my bath and everything else when I decide to not when someone wants or tells me to.
  • Financial freedom; This is also a very big part of my life, actually of every man’s life. Financial freedom is very important to me it is the second biggest factor in my life after authority freedom, and it will become the biggest goal of my life after achieving authority freedom.

Actually, I do not crave money like most people, but I strongly need freedom and there is no true freedom without financial freedom, as a result of this fact I love money. My goal with my finances is, firstly, to have a huge amount of disposable money in my savings account (Enough to sustain my basic lifestyle for 5 years). Secondly, to have more than one stream of passive or almost passive income, that is at least able to support my basic day-to-day lifestyle. Lastly, to have a career (Architecture,Self employed of course) that I love, which I do as my day job, which is my mission, Identity and outlet of providing value to the world, this career will be profit oriented but profit won’t be it’s main goal.

I made a record of all I spent this week against my estimated income for the week in actual figures, as part of goal FFa ( financial freedom,a. : 5 years worth of basic lifestyle saved)

I was able to save 39.5% of my total income, not bad compared to what the average man gets to save, but unacceptable in my own standards, mind you the average man and I don’t have the same vision, keeping my savings at 39.5% means it’ll take me about 7years to have 5years worth of expenses saved, I want it to be not more than 5years of work.. To achieve this I have to be saving at least 50% of my income.

Though I’m just experimenting for now, I still have 6years of college education to go and I’ll most likely not be earning any income during this period, I’m just trying to get my system right for now.

I didn’t put any conscious effort into great body this week, I should and I will get back on track with it.

So this are the only three aspects of my life I’m deliberately working on till likely a decade more to come, other areas I’m checking on just not consciously for now

Life is glorious and Tough for the ambitious, Life dull and “easier” for the mediocre. The choice is yours, make it now.

Peace!!

Success guide for Introverts

Success is a very loaded word, what is the success and how important is its achievement. Success must mean different things to different people but people have strangely started to use the word generally.

On top of that, success has to be on different levels, you might be successful in some areas of your life while still struggling with other areas, you might for example feel fulfilled with the relationships in your life while feeling unfulfilled with the amount of money you earn, you see?.

Who decides how successful you are? Is it your friends and family?, The society?, your co-workers?, Fans? Or yourself?. If it’s anyone but yourself, how do they know what success means to you? Do they know if you’re really impressed with a lot of areas in your life that isn’t obvious to them?. Or do they expect you to be successful in each and every aspect of your life?

Who is successful in every aspect of their life?.

This topic requires a very careful observation or you might run around throughout your life chasing shadows, funny thing is, you might end up discovering at the late end that the shadow you have caught is not really the shadow you want or need.

How can you let other people define success for you when they’re not you? Hell, there is a good chance that even you don’t clearly know what success means to you how then can someone who’s not you know for sure? You have serious self esteem issues if you think someone who’s not you should know more about you than yourself.

An unimaginable wealth, various big houses, hundreds of employees, hordes of beautiful female companions, fame, and all of the above in one package. These are the things society would say constitute success. Alas, after long and deep self reflection, I realized that I would feel absolutely miserable if I should have all of these things together, really I might have to commit suicide.

So instead, after lots of self-reflection and consultation with wise people who are visibly living a sane and planned life and whom I have deep respect for, I carefully formulated my own ideal life , for me, and me alone, what would make an ideal life for me will likely bring unhappiness to you. That’s why you have to make time alone to get it right and decide how you intend to live the short life with which you have been blessed, this shouldn’t be too hard for you being an introvert, you naturally have a need for alone time.

  • Consider all the areas of your life; A lot of guys get excited about a particular area and go all in with it, especially the financial aspect, while ignoring other important aspects of their life, what usually results is having to give up this hard earned money to solve problems that shouldn’t have arisen if they were monitored in the first place.
  • Get your ideals written down; You’ve heard before that writing down a goal makes it much more likely achievable. It’s true
  • Set timelines if needed; deadlines makes it more serious and fun at the same time.
  • Find mentors and sources of advice you can run to; Never underestimate the power of seeking advice and mentorship in person or via books, find people who have achieved what you want and make friends with them, respect them, ask for their wisdom, if done correctly, you can save yourself years of unproductive work
  • Don’t be afraid to work,after all it’s your life and not anyone else’s; Know that you’re not the only one who wants what you want, know that if it was easy everyone else would have done it, to actualize some dreams you have to put your head down and grind, for several years maybe, especially if you don’t have a strong support network, which you probably don’t have as an introvert. And develop a thick skin, don’t take embarrassments and failure personally.
  • Work smart whenever you can but don’t forget to work hard whenever you have to; before you start working hard,it’s important to check your options to see if there’s no easier and shorter way to get it done, there’s no honor in mindless hard work for several years when you could do it in matter of months, this is part of the reason you need mentors and good books. But be mindful and beware of get-rich-quick schemes, it might work, but the risks and downside are usually overwhelming.
  • Stay on track, and keep your eyes on the prize; you will get distracted no doubt, but always remember where you are coming from and where you are heading to, pick your goals like a sniper, with patience and tenacity.
  • About your goals: be as outcome independent as possible….. About every other things: do not give a fuck. It’s crazy but it’s true, not giving a shit about life ironically makes life easier for you, I’ve observed that people will more willingly give you what you don’t really need, and I strongly suspect that life does the same too.
  • Try to live in the moment. No matter what you do, no matter how you feel, no matter how good or bad a person you are, life is outcome independent about you, it will go it’s way and run its course no matter what happens to you, that’s why it’s important for you to erase worry from your existence, it does nothing except rob you of the present.

Peace!!

The oil is burning!!

Get creative, find a way to do what you want to do amidst all the odds, with creativity and determination,coupled with perseverance and a willingness to start somewhere, anywhere. You can be whoever you want to be, you can design your lifestyle the way you want.

With all of the above mentioned and time, you can make you great, you can reach heights your biggest protagonist never wished for you, afterall these people living the life are human beings like you and myself, the difference between I and them is that I have the inertia to not reach where they are but then I have the potential to surpass them by far.

So you’ve lived the life in the darkness, it was dark, so dark you couldn’t even see yourself, you got comfortable being in the dark because you are smart and you know that nothing in this life is worthy of causing you inner misery, but you weren’t satisfied with being in the dark because you are smart and know that the dark is not where you were created to spend your life in.

The lovely creator put you in the dark because he respects and values you, he knows you’re strong, stronger than you think now and have more than what it takes to find your way out, he put you in the dark because he wills to bless you with a sense of direction and confidence, who else is more directed than a man who found his way to the light from darkness dark as pit?

But wait, how have the men who found the light done so when there are multitudes who die there in the dark for every man who got out?

The answer is the burning lamp….. The burning lamp is the guide that took the man to the promise land, it saved him from tripping on stools and hitting his head on the wall repeatedly.

What is the burning lamp and what makes you know where yours is? The burning lamp is that soft, whispering call in your soul, sending you a message. You can’t decipher it’s message until you calm down and listen very carefully, it is sending you a message to mankind, it’s the gift carried in your soul all the way from the creator. No it’s not yours, it’s for mankind and you’re just an humble messenger.

But I have a little unpleasant news, The oil is burning!! The oil in the lamp is burning, it started burning the moment you got aware of yourself,it started burning when you gave conscience to your existence. That was when the message got ready to be delivered. I wonder if you got ready at that same time o you messenger, if you didn’t, you’d better get on with it now (if you still feel the message within) unless you have become satisfied with the darkness, and who would say you don’t have the right to want to remain in darkness?

But I heard them say the light is better, even a little bit of light, and don’t worry about the journey, the message coupled with bits of creativity, determination, perseverance and the willingness to start somewhere or anywhere will take you through the rough ride.

Ponder about this, we might meet in the light someday, provided that you decide to deliver the message too.

Peace!!

Self-defense guide for Introverts.

Specifically for my introverted brothers, I was an introvert, I am an introvert, and deep inside, I will always be an introvert.

Forget about all the fancy definitions and descriptions of what makes a man an introvert or an extrovert and focus on this; An introvert is someone who would rather be alone or at least be with accomplices of not more than one or two close friends rather than be in a large group of people.

Being an introvert comes with certain advantages and unfortunately certain critical disadvantages, out of which is the tendency to be picked-on or bullied.

Now being picked on might mean different things ranging from being belittled and mocked in school and sometimes workplace to actually being at the receiving end of outright physical aggression.

Now, this doesn’t mean that every introvert goes through this, but with careful observation, I notice that it is more likely the case. As I mentioned earlier, not all introverts get to deal with this and the goal here is to join the list of introverts.

It might seem impossible at first if you’ve spent most of your life being nervous and looking over your shoulders, but if you knew how timid and fearful I used to be, and how bold and convenient I am now you’d be more inclined to believe.

Am I now as rugged and confident as I want to be? No. Am I now not vunerable and invincible? No, and I believe no man alive is invincible and invunerable, not even the leader of the greatest nation in the world.

Without further ado, let me take you through how you can fight for your much needed space and respect.

  • Start lifting weights: seriously this is more important than I could stress it here, your body is your communication with the outside world,no matter what you do or who you are, other men consciously or subconsciously judge and weigh you up based on your physical build, you will definitely notice that people will take you more seriously when your arms get bigger. If you’ve been lifting keep it up and if you haven’t,stop reading this article now and start doing push-ups right now,no excuses, if you got time to read this, you got time to take care of your body. You’ll definitely thank yourself when you see results.

Read up on alpha male body language: I believe you’ve read before that humans communicate more with body language than with words, it’s true. You can literally communicate all day with people around you while rarely opening your mouth, there’s a way that you walk,sit or make facial expressions that tell people around you what’s going on in your mind and life. Basically what you want to communicate to guys around you is that you are ready and willing to fight and defend yourself should the need arise.

Note that this doesn’t necessarily mean that you are actually able to defend yourself at this stage (although you really need to) but someone who hasn’t seen you fight before will not know what you’re capable of, his only tip off is your body language. There are tips about getting this right like taking up more space, standing tall and more, I may be making a post about it someday, but basically it is a skill to be mastered and you have to start as soon as possible if you want to get it together.

  • Stop being apologetic: there’s a world of difference between being apologetic and apologizing, apologizing is an active form of conflict resolution and it is a very important one, if you have offended or wronged someone and you know, apologize to them as quickly as possible and try to make corrections if the wrongdoing can be undone.

But being apologetic is a kind of mindset and passive way of communicating that you feel sorry without necessarily verbalizing it or the reason for being so sorry. Now everything is wrong with being apologetic, The first thing it displays is weakness and incapacity, it shows your unwillingness to take responsibility for your actions.
And if you’ve really made being apologetic an habit, people around you will hear loudly from your disposition that you don’t feel worthy of being where you are and they will treat you accordingly.

  • Learn how to fight and practice: As any sensible person will tell you, avoiding physical fighting is the best thing for you if you but know, but sometimes you just have to do it, period, there are assholes who won’t stop until they have stripped you of every honor you may have, with this type of men, you’ve got to understand the language of violence because that’s the only language he speaks.

With this kind of guy, you have two goals to achieve, Firstly, to get away from the encounter with your life and good health and secondly, to make him regret he ever decided to try you while making the onlookers and anyone that’ll get to hear about the fight not wish to ever fight you.

And to be able to do the above two important tasks, you gotta be proficient with your fighting skills, so don’t be lazy, I know it isn’t easy but it’s not as hard as you’re imagining too.

  • Become good at what you do: reason for this is very simple, people tend to respect and admire people who are very capable with what they do, whether you’re a college student or your career is underway already, make sure you know your onions. This will help you boost your self confidence too.

Now, this is not to say that more extroverted people don’t get to deal with self defense issues too, but being usually with a group of pals is a great way to avoid this occurrences most of the time, and you, by choosing to roll solo are implying consciously or unconsciously that you’re strong and self sufficient enough,. So be strong and self sufficient as you can be and in the end you will come out better than three pack boys.

Peace!!